


A Rock and a Hard Place: Epilogue

by Trippenwitz



Series: A Rock and A Hard Place [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Karkat being a jerkwad, Rose bringing Dave and KK to the Own Zone, implied sex, suggestiveness??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-15
Updated: 2012-12-15
Packaged: 2017-11-21 05:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/593976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trippenwitz/pseuds/Trippenwitz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>--carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 1:34 opened memo on board OPERATION YELL AT EGBERT FOR BEING A STUPID PIECE OF SHIT--</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Rock and a Hard Place: Epilogue

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place a few hours after Next Time.

_\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 1:34 opened memo on board OPERATION YELL AT EGBERT FOR BEING A STUPID PIECE OF SHIT--_

_\--turntechGodhead [TG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.--_

CG: WHERE THE FUCK IS HE  
  
TG: hang on give him a sex  
  
TG: i mean  
  
TG: sec  
  
TG: god fucking dammit egbert get your ass in here

_\--ectoBiologist [EB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.--_

EB: uh  
  
EB: hi guys! what’s this all about?  
  
CG: OH DON’T PLAY DUMB WITH US MORON, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT  
  
EB: er…  
  
TG: for fucks sake john  
  
TG: in a closet  
  
TG: with rose  
  
TG: half naked  
  
TG: ring any bells  
  
EB: okay, i…  
  
EB: look i can explain that!  
  
CG: OH HO, HE'S GOING TO EXPLAIN THAT. THIS WILL BE RICH.  
  
CG: LOOK DUMBASS, WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING WITH ROSE BEHIND CLOSED DOORS IS THE LAST THING ANYONE WANTS TO KNOW.  
  
CG: BELIEVE ME, ON THE LIST OF “THINGS KARKAT WANTS TO KNOW,” YOUR FUCKWRITHING IS RIGHT DOWN THERE BELOW “WHATEVER THE FUCK JADE WAS PLANNING TO DO WITH A LONG STICK AND A BUCKET”  
  
CG: BUT WHEN YOU’RE JUST GOING TO BE DOING IT SPLAYED OUT WHERE ANYONE CAN FIND YOU  
  
EB: but we weren’t!!!  
  
EB: we didn’t!!!!!  
  
TG: didnt what  
  
TG: bump your conksuck boots or whatever  
  
TG: cause me and jade would really like to know what you were doing that involved taking roses underwear off  
  
TG: wait  
  
TG: no fuck not like that i just  
  
TG: okay what i mean is i want to hear is how you can somehow explain this shit  
  
EB: i’m trying!!!  
  
  
EB: ugh just  
  
EB: we were trying something and  
  
EB: she didn’t like it.  
  
EB: so we stopped. and we were tired and fell asleep there.  
  
  
  
  
CG:…YOU’RE LYING  
  
EB: why would i lie about that? :/  
  
EB: i just didn’t want to say cause it was embarrassing alright?  
  
TG: hot damn hes got a point  
  
TG: heh it does kind of make sense   
  
CG: YEAH AS MUCH AS SHE ANNOYS ME SHE DOES STRIKE ME AS HAVING GOOD TASTE  
  
EB: …  
  
CG: OKAY CRISIS AVERTED. OPERATION “YELL AT EGBERT FOR BEING A STUPID PIECE OF SHIT” IS OFFICIALLY NOW “THE DOCUMENTATION OF HOW MUCH EGBERT SUCKS”  
  
CG: (DIAGNOSIS: IT’S A FUCKING LOT)  
  
EB: GEE, THANKS A LOT GUYS.  
  
EB: can i go now????  
  
CG: WAIT WAIT I’M NOT DONE YET  
  
CG: I MEAN COME ON MAN WHEN ELSE WILL I HAVE TO OPPORTUNITY TO SNICKER AT HOW BADLY YOU FAIL?  
  
CG: JURY’S IN, YOU SUCK, PLAIN AND SIMPLE

_\--tentacleTherapist [TT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.--_

TG: woah shit  
  
TT: Now now, I think we would need Terezi’s opinion for that Karkat!  
  
CG: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?  
  
EB: gah!  
  
EB: rose it’s okay! you don’t have to say anything I already took care of it!  
  
TT: But you left out a crucial detail, John. And since our other Seer is unavalible, I suppose it’s up to me to take her place and give it.  
  
CG: OH REALLY?  
  
CG: OKAY *SEER*, ENLIGHTEN US.  
  
TT: So hostile, Karkat. All I wanted to do was correct you.  
  
TT: You see…  
  
TT: John, believe it or not, does not “suck.”  
  
EB: rose…  
  
TT: He licks.  
  
  
  
  
  
TG: oh my fuckolkj  
  
CG: ...WHAT?  
  
TG: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDSHJDHA  
  
 _\--turntechGodhead [TG] has left the memo. --_

  
CG: SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN  
  
EB: …  
  
TT: Think about it Karkat. I know it might use some muscles you’re not used to, but exercise is always good for the soul.  
  
CG: OH FUCK YOU, JUST TELL ME  
  
CG: LIKE WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GET FROM “HE LI  
  
CG: KN  
  
CG:  
  
CG: OH  
  
CG: OH MY FUCKIGN  
  
CG: OHMYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.,M.D.M,VM.KFM.,VG.M,  
  
CG: NKFDLJFDKLKGKJKGOTOPTOPSOPIKOHKTHMKMKBMKBG.M.BGBGBG.,GB.,BG.,  
  
 _\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] has blocked himself from responding to the memo.--_  
  
TT: Well. That was fun.  
  
EB: roooooooose.  
  
EB: that was mean. :P  
  
TT: Rudeness for rudeness, John. One cannot expect me to simply stand by and watch a few fools trying to insult my adorable, chivalrous boyfriend, especially as he tries to defend my honor.  
  
EB: hehe…  
  
EB: aDORable~? ;)  
  
TT: Of course.   
  
TT: Adorable, blithe, courageous, darling…  
  
TT: Do I need the rest of the alphabet?  
  
EB: heheheh.  
  
EB: maybe later. you’re making me too embarrassed now!  
  
TT: I see.   
  
TT: Then I shall depart, and perhaps return to you later with an alphabetized list of loquacious terms of love.  
  
TT: Till then, good night John.  
  
EB: you too, rose :)  
  
EB: sweet dreams <3  
  
  
  
  
TT: <3


End file.
